My First Health Setback in Three and a Half Years

What I've learned from my first health setback in three and a half years. 

Lockdown Three has been a minute by minute oppression, and I start April in a state of anxiety. The question I'm constantly asking myself is, have I lost control? I've put on some weight, and the gym doors have been locked for months. Am I going to be a big fat guy again? I've got to the point where I'm terrified by it.

January was cold, dark, bleak and lonely. I think it's the nearest I've ever been to depression. Depression. That's for someone else, right?

This is what the World Health Organisation says about it:

"Depression is a common mental disorder affecting more than 264 million people worldwide. It is characterized by persistent sadness and a lack of interest or pleasure in previously rewarding or enjoyable activities."

264 million people have depression? When I read this, I thought, well, at least I'm not alone, which, when you think about it, means there is still a tiny voice of optimism somewhere in my dark cloud of consciousness.

With collapsing activity and a home office 12 feet from the fridge, I know I've piled on the pounds on in this lockdown. I've felt like I was slipping, and there was a crazy moment when I panicked. 

Believe it or not, I'm making a TV programme with the very brilliant team at ITV Tonight. It's due out at the end of April. I won't reveal what it's about yet, but there was a moment where I had to display a former bad habit.

I'm not blaming that one incident on my current torpor; there exist hundreds of points of failure before you acquiesce to the lazy inner voice, but the incident reminded me why I needed to reapply some rules. 

So amidst the winter desperation, I've still got some control over my situation. I've done some things that may sound small to you, but they're an essential part of my health reset.

1.   I've signed up to my nearest David Lloyd Club, ahead of the gyms opening on 12th April. For me, David Lloyd's advantage over other local and cheaper providers is that they provide work areas. When the restrictions are gradually lifted, I can do more of my work away from the fridge! This is about controlling my food inputs.

2.   I've written a reset plan that will allow me to map out daily nutrition, activity and exercise over the next six weeks. The MyFitnessPal app is vital for this. This is all about managing my productive time and measuring progress. 

3.   I'm going back to my gratitude journaling. This is about banking new wins. 

4.   I'm booked a personal trainer twice a week. I need focus and accountability. I'll review how this is going at the end of the month. This is about technique and accountability. 

I've also used some ideas from BJ Fogg's book, Tiny Habits, to lock in behavioural change. I'll talk about these in a future newsletter, but I've found a separate box for my gym kit; I've put my trainers by the front door and my running socks at the top of the sock draw. I'm limiting the mental barriers to getting out for the front door. 

And there are some tools too: 

I've got my bike serviced and put it in a place that it's easy to get to. 

I've dusted and recharged the weighing scales.

I'm going to share this note with the members of my accountability group – PoP Club. It's incredible to think that last November, I ran 5k every day with this group, and last month I'd be surprised if I walked 5k in an average week. As I type this, I know with greater clarity that my real problem this time around is with lack of exercise. 

I need to be honest – to share failure as well as success with my friends. For years I wasn't even honest with myself about the condition I was in. If I'm to continue maintaining a healthy, active life, my accountability group is critical. So Pop Club friends, I'm relying on you. I'm sending this note to you first before I put it in this week's newsletter.

Reading

God Bless you, Michael Connelly

OK, so maybe there were cracks of light in the dark first quarter of 2021. I've listened to 20 audiobooks in the Harry Bosch series by former LA Times reporter Michael Connelly. Connelly's writing style – think Raymond Chandler meets The Wire, is absorbing. The narration on the audiobooks lifts crisp dialogue to Shakespearian levels. In the end, you get to love Harry as much as you worry about him. He's introduced to you in Connelly's first novel, Black Echo, as the chain-smoking rule-breaking, gnarled up Vietnam Vet on the murder desk of the Hollywood police team. By the time you begin to worry you're running out of Bosch stories, Harry is a world-weary but wise retiree passing on the detective craft to the next generation. I cannot recommend this series of crime novels enough to you. And when you've finished the Bosch series, Connelly others series, The Lincoln Lawyer is worth a read or listen, too. 

Watching

I sat down with the kids and watched Fantastic Mr Fox, the animated expression of Roald Dahl's classic. In this version, Mr Fox is a retired chicken thief turned journalist facing a midlife crisis. I used to watch it endlessly when Malachy was a toddler and Saoirse a baby. At 15 and 12, they still enjoyed it. Or at least they told their old dad they did. 

PS

I intend to add to the rules below and explain the logic to you in future newsletters. I owe Steven R Covey, BJ Fogg, James Clear and my old pal Aristotle for inspiration. 

New Reset Rules:

After I finish the tea, then I will brush my teeth. 

After my morning coffee, I will put on my gym kit